"I hate Thanksgiving."How many times have I uttered those words since 1990? More than I can count. The first time was to shock my husband into silence after he wondered aloud one too many times why I was so morose every year. The last time was driving home from Bible study last week. Too many mentions of shotguns juxtaposed with Thanksgiving dinner, I guess. Not an unnatural thing for a bunch of hunting guys to discuss in the fall, but a stark reminder to me of something I'd rather forget. Unexpected tears flowed.
I know I'm not the only one with bittersweet memories on a holiday. Over the years, I've tried hard to make Thanksgiving celebratory for my family and sometimes I've even forgotten the loss of 1990 for long enough to enjoy the day. But every year, someone or something serves to remind me. You'd think that after twenty-one years, the pain would lessen. And it has, to a degree. But not enough.
No matter how many good memories pile on, the bad ones still claw their way to the top. Even when we forgive, we cannot forget. Especially on this day. But we can learn anew that our peace doesn't have to come from circumstances. We're at peace when we're truly grateful.
Being truly thankful means gratitude for what has been given and what has been taken away. If those we loved had not meant so much, the hurt of their loss would not exist. We can react in two ways: embrace the losses with the gains, or lose both.
To love is to risk pain. To hate is to perpetuate it.
Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
6 comments:
This year, I actually remembered that you hate Thanksgiving and why. I doubt you'll ever forget the horrific details from 1990, but I often wonder if in Heaven, we celebrate the day we enter the pearly gates...kind of like a birthday. It's a huge celebration on that side. Do they celebrate it every year? Maybe looking at the date from the other side will help ease the pain of Thanksgiving.
Blessings to you.
Tammy, that is an excellent perspective, thank you! I should read Randy Alcorn more. I love the idea of celebrating "going home" day. Hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Good Lynetta, and sorry about the two removed posts. I kept getting interrupted and made too many typo's to ignore.
Blessings to you, my friend.
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